For all you facebook maniacs you know I've been a Twitter fanatic for about two weeks. Please add... follow me... I will follow you in return. We can mutually stalk each other via RSS Feed!

My tweet name is amandahardin. I know... it slightly resembles my own.

Here's a picture of me on my birthday. Just to keep everyone up to date...

So Passover is always a time of reflection... somber reflection. I found myself joyful tonight though. Joyful because the spring holy-days are finally upon us. I'm quite happy right now.

1. I've come to realize . . . that I have my own faith in God and thankfully it is strong enough to stand up against any opposition.

2. I am listening to . . . my niece tell my sister.. oh I don't even know.

3. I talk . . . but it takes extra effort for me to really listen.

4. I love . . . so many things, old film, the beatles, little blitzes of attraction to Hunter, walking during flurries, and unexpected rainbows.

5. My best friends . . . are the people who I seemed too instantly feel absolutely comfortable with whether it's been an hour or a 5 years since I've seen them.

6. My first real kiss . . . was disappointing and stupidly I told him just that. I should have known the doom of the relationship then. It was certainly an learning experience.

7. Love is . . . life altering, creating, and so so important.

8. Marriage is . . . still a distant dream full of barefoot bridesmaids and backyard cookouts.

9. Somewhere, someone is thinking . . . I wonder if I unplugged the coffee pot.

10. I'll always . . . dream in poetry.

11. The last time I really cried was because . . . Lacy headbutted my nose.

12. My cell phone . . . is my connection to everyone I love.

13. When I wake up in the morning . . . I have mixed feelings.

14. Before I go to bed . . . I check my email.

16. Babies are . . . so amazing.

17. I get on MySpace . . . to stalk my ex.

18. Today I . . . finally felt settled in my new job.

19. Tomorrow I will be . . . Wonder Woman!

20. I really want to be . . . in the Kingdom.

I found a lovely French novel today that I am going to attempt to read in preparation for going to Normandy for the feast next year and this lovely commentary on Little Red Riding Hood in cultural development.


So I have some reading material for now! Woot. I'm currently helping a friend proof her paper that she's giving tomorrow in a conference and that's about all I have going on right now.

Okay so here's an update. I know I'm terrible about keeping you all in the loop, but I'm doing well. Quite well. I love my new position and all the fears I had before I took this job have all but fluttered away.

Family is doing good. Mom had to have surgery two weeks ago, she and Dad are in Alabama right now and both are doing well. Caleb just cut another tooth at 8 mos. Lacy is going nuts at nearly 4 years old. She loves Barbie's now. I got her a Mary Poppins one for her birthday.

I'm working on finishing an article so I can be published finally. Finishing up my MA in History hopefully this year and moving straight into my MLIS program at UK right after. My office rocks. I will post pics soon. That's all for now!

So I had a wonderful little chat today with Jessica and I realized that I am exceptionally grateful for my failed relationship. Not only did it show me what I didn't want... it showed me what I didn't need. I know that sounds a little jumbled and when I was talking to Jess I almost sounded embittered. Like I am glad that I'm alone right now. Really what I meant is that I'm glad to be happy being alone. I'm finally happy with myself and who I have become in every way.

I think women have a tendency to compartmentalize themselves. Daughter, Sister, Reference Queen, Best Friend, and Sunshine. Sometimes we are happier with one part of ourselves rather than all. I think that I am doing an exceptional job right now of being happy with all of me.

So to take a note from Forrest Gump... I suppose it's true.... Stupid is as Stupid does... and the same goes for Happy is as Happy does. Right now... I feel that if I project all thoughts towards happiness that I attempt to achieve that state... then I am happy. I certainly feel good.

I realize it's been forever and a day since I posted a picture of myself so here goes.


I suppose that's all for now.

So does anyone else who is a Bones lover find it significant that Brennan bought Booth his "Cocky" belt-buckle when it was destroyed by the gravedigger?!

Can we say southern baptist bible thumper gonna save all the funeral attendees craziness!!!

It seems my heart is filled with those of late. Mum, Dad, and I are all in pain one part out of place or the next... I've lost a good bit of weight lately which makes me very happy. My hair is progressively getting longer. I'm going back to United next week... alone. I want to work toward baptism in the near future. It's time.

I've really taken to latin dance of late as well. I am even toying with the idea of getting my certificate too teach it down the line. After I literally dance my butt off of course.


Now I'm off to watch Persuasion and wait for T to get here.

So here goes... I think I have just about narrowed my list down to the things I want to see in London:

-Westminster Abbey
-British Library - Oh I could spend an entire day here.
-British Museum
-Tate Museum
-The Monument - 311 steps up to see one of the best views in London for a third of the cost of the London Eye.
-Leister Square
-Big Ben and Parliament - totally okay with a drive-through on these.
-I want to eat Fish & Chips somewhere and a Cornish Pastie.
-National Gallery
-National Portrait Gallery
-I would like to ride in a black cab... visit Abbey Road... use a London restroom...Mind the Gap on the Tube... and possibly visit The Globe... those are things I might not be able to fit in to the two days I'm going to be there however.

Did I mention I do not intend to sleep?

Is having the best friends in the world!!! One in the particular who is willing to spend three consecutive weeks with me next year while bumming around Europe. Really we are going to the feast, but still... I am certain there will be bumming as well. One of the feast sites next year is in Normandy so the tentative itinerary starts with a weekend in London and then on to Normandy where there will be trips to Brussels, Bruges, Mont St. Michel, Paris, Belleau Wood, Verdun, Bastogne, Waterloo and Dunkerque. For a history buff this is an ideal trip... for someone who hasn't even flown or been out of the country however the preparation is daunting.

All I can say is that my excitement is unparalleled.

I've been so happy lately. Like a film has been lifted from my eyes. Possibly it's because Melissa and I have been working on the bible study program together in the hopes that we will be ready for baptism soon.

Maybe it's the fact that I left a relationship that while not poisonous for others... (in fact quite the opposite to my delight) but I do think that in many ways Mark was a horrible option for me. He's not a bad person... but he was bad for me. Bad for my physical and mental health I think. I also think that I have finally managed to completely purge him from my system.

The other part of healing is that I think I am finally moving on from the sadness and ache of loosing Trish. Now I know she's in a better place. My parents are doing better as well. I have the hope that within the next year I will finally be done with my MA in History... after which I have the ability to get a better job.

Also I am working hard at fixing my flaws as well. While that is not a job that can be done in my lifetime completely... I think I have made some very good steps towards a happier, healthier, more intelligent Amanda.

In the end, most of this is due to the support of five extremely important friends and my family. I am truly blessed.

So I have been kicking my butt on these workout classes lately and I am really doing well. I finally am starting to see my awesome shape again. Yeah!!!

Now if I can just keep away from the department Halloween Candy jar.

All in all the feast was wonderful... I needed the rest. More pics to come this is just what Dana had.

Although the local police, state police, and FBI all converged at WKU's campus last week I am to send an update that yes I am fine. While I maintain that shots were fired, no guns were found and therefore the authorities can not confirm that no matter how many students heard shots. All seems to be relatively well, but everyone who was here had a good shakeup due to lock down.

I was actually on my way home from Gatlinburg when I received the first message. So I wasn't even on campus at the time. My student worker, Taryn always says that things like this happen when I am not at work as that is so very rare. The last two times I left for any substantial reasons we had a Tornado warning and they were stuck in the basement for an hour and the time before that a fire alarm malfunctioned and they were outside in the rain for a good bit too.

All in all, I am back at work now in one piece and grateful for everyone who contacted me to see if I was all right. WKU is still certainly exciting if nothing else.

Why is life so much harder closest to the feast. Obviously I know the reason. I know that Satan is trying harder than ever to mess up our lives, but these last few weeks have been horrible for me. Trish's death... personal illness... issues at work. All of it seems to be manifesting right before the feast. I keep expecting this great crescendo like you do at the peak of some piece of classical music and then some release.

As it stands now I have a giant elephant on my chest that I can't seem to push off. The severe exhaustion I know comes from my multiple dance classes. The fact that I am completely reorganizing my office and am moving a lot of boxes claims the aches in my arms. What is caused the ache in my heart and lungs though. The fact that it hurts to breathe. My chest feel full of a million little sighs that never seem to be used up.

I am getting my work done... I am cooking more than ever and working out like a fiend. I am doing quite well in the weight-loss department also which makes me happy. I just want it to be the weekend already so I can get on the road. I want a week with my family and God. Most of all I want my heart not to hurt so much.

It's funny how something I had so looked forward to for ages now is something I dread. The unsettling feeling in my stomach and the realization that no matter how hard I try... I still want him... miss him... some part of me still cares for him. I know he thinks I don't anymore. That's what I want him to think. I mean I'm at work. I can't be crumpling into a little ball of depression each time he darkens my door. ::sighs:: He cut his hair.... he cut his hair like I had bugged him for two months to do.

He seems insistent on still coming although thankfully now it's every other week. The pain isn't so much when I have another week to heal between boughs of torture.

I have an interview in the DLPS... I would be Reference Specialist if I got this one... Nancy's old job. More than any other reason I find myself wanting this job so I don't have to be here on Wednesdays.

Could I be more of a dork?!!! Why... why can't I just get over this? Why can't I just get over him and no care or want or need him anymore. Why was he the first person I thought of when Trish died?! Why do I want nothing more than his arms around me or that sarcastic humor of his to pull me out of my perpetual sadness?!!!

I am such a dork.

The feast needs to come soon!!! Right now in fact. I need spiritual harmony and time with my family now. Please wind the hands of time a little faster?!!!!!